did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
