But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Help. Why am I so naked?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
