I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
