i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
