last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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