she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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