Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
