i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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