omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
