People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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