looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize