Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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