My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
