Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
