zippers are such a cool invention
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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