something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
