my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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