based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
