Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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