I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
