dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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