If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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