It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
