When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
