Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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