Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
