Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
