THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
