You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
