i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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