Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
