Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
