he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
