You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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