Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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