Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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