It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
This baby is an asshole
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
