His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
