i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
