Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Randomize
