a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
