Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
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