how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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