If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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