4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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