Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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