I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
