dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize