I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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