Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
