My girlfriend figured out who you are.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Randomize
