I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
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So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex