Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
