do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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