i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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