break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
how drunk are you?
Several
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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