Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
