And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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