my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
