Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
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